In All Seriousness
Alright, just a quick update before bed:
As you can see on the right of my blog page (that’s this way, guys —->), I have set up a widget that you guys can click as often as you’d like, as many times as you like each day. What happens is my blog page turns into an advertisement for Nurse Jackie, a Showtime television program.
You can A) watch the preview (which I recommend, since it’s awesome), or B) wait 10 seconds and hit ‘next’ up at the top, right hand corner of the web page. This will redirect to a form that asks for your name (first name only if you don’t feel comfortable giving out your first and last), as well as a place to write a small comment.
Once you hit submit, Showtime will donate money to the LLS organization on our behalf. They are truly amazing sponsors for doing this. I hope you guys can all take a few moments out of your day to do this.
- S
Brownie Points For Whores
After reading my blog’s domain name, about 90% of you have fled. The other 10% of you are unable to read it, and are currently scrolling through my post in search of some “LOL” pics. Sorry to disappoint you illiterate bastards.
I never really understood the point of owning a blog if you’re not famous. Especially if your life – like mine – sucks massive whale balls. The most interesting thing that I have done today would be that I put mustard on my hamburger, rather than just ketchup. Trying to spice my life up, take some risks. You know? I also Won a baboon on eBay, condition as-is, but I’m going to use the little guy for parts anyway. Never know when the ticker might blow a valve.
In unrelated news, my friends have been nothing but sweet and kind to me today. What the fuck is up with that, do they not know love is my kryptonite? Obviously I will have to remind them of this with a punch in the teeth later on tonight. (Yes, that means you…) Anyways, apparently I’m supposed to say something nice back to them and whatever, so here goes:
Heathyr: Since you were the first to say something nice about me today (in your own blog, even), I should probably put you first. (Now everyone, don’t get jealous. It’s not Heathyr’s fault that she shits all over you in the epic department). So, I guess what I’m really trying to say is… I’m glad your vag doesn’t smell like Nemo. Brownie points for you.
Lauren: I don’t think you actually said anything nice to me today other than you wanted me to add you as my “relationship status” on facebook for LOLz. Low blow, douche clown. You also shanked me about 100 times in the past 24 hours and were one of the many to start a conversation about just how many things you guys could fit into my vag. I never laughed so hard in my life. Mainly because it’s true – there IS a house up there. Brownie points for you.
Kay: I played guitar for you today, and you didn’t laugh. You also haven’t laughed at my face yet, despite it looking like it was run over with an eighteen wheeler truck. I think I kind of love you for this. Brownie points for you.
K, I’m done.
Personal quote of the day: “I wish that all of my friends could just go ahead and admit that they are space aliens. I know what’s going on guys.”
Photo of the day: My beautiful niece, Piper Jade.
